i'm sorry i've been gone so long. i can't really explain why, but so much has been going on in my life there may have been a subconscious fear to actually write about it all. don't worry, i'm not gonna write about it all now. its wayyyy too much, believe me. but i wanna tell you about some of the lessons i've learned recently. ready? ok.
first of all. new year. i omit the "happy" cuz this year didn't start off too joyful for me. my grandfather passed early january and it kinda whirled my fam in life's blender. i won't get into details...but the lesson: you can't choose who's blood, but you can choose whom to love. my ma had a convo with her baby sis about "making your own 'family' outside of your family". i love the family i've been able to create for myself. they are my love and my support system. these people are my best friends.
love. yo, loving someone and liking someone are two different ball games. i have seen these concepts played out over and over in my relationships and those of people around me. i would never have imagined how tough all of this is to wrangle. i just hope for the best for me and those around me. through all of this though, i am aware that i want a monogamous, committed relationship with someone i love, and LIKE.
living. my roomie/best friend/life partner (lolz) is moving. this will be the first time in 4 years (7 if you count years we weren't roomie's but lived in close proximity at kstate), that i won't have her (or any of my best friends) close enough to run to, cry on, laugh with, cry with, gossip to, get gossip from, study with, etc. face to face. this. scares. me. shitless.
learning. grad school got hard yo *wipes sweat from forehead*. this semester i have class, assistantship, internship. whoa. i'm runnin around crazy but after the initial shock of it all i realize that i love what i do (student affairs/development) and am more than excited for what the future holds for me...[sn: at the moment i have a heart and dedication for research on black female college student development, there is a lack of research in this area and i feel that this population can be better understood and served if research is pursued]...i'm pushin it yall.
laughing. i went through a period of depression recently and though i had many reasons to be depressed, i now also understand i have many reasons to feel blessed. i'm trying to be lighter-hearted (made that phrase up real quick) and enjoy the things that are in beside me, forget the things behind me, and embrace the things in front of me!
well, i hope i caught you up a little. i plan on keeping in touch much more often.
peace love
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