wayyyy, wayyy too much

having more than one "boyfriend" is alot of work...that's all...

YO!!! WTF?!?!

***this is the first of many installments which will just pose questions that i've recently asked myself or others...mind boggling shit...lol

• is it possible to hate nicki minaj but love onika maraj??? i think i do...(hate barbie, love baby kim--hate the rapper, love the singer)

• whyyyy do black guys in ky like fat white chicks? like, ok...you dig white girls...but fat, sloppy ones tho? *shudders*

• is my one co-worker a crackhead?
  
• sooo...the na'vi (race in avatar) are this bad ass group of blue, tiger, alien beings but they can't unite and declare their independence without the white boy? #hollywoodshit




• how many states will follow in arizona's footsteps (regarding race relations/policies)? and how soon?

• which is better: PANDORA or XM radio?

• is my other co-worker a Ra-Tard?

• at what stage in a relationship is it ok to swallow??? (#tmi)

• what if dj khaled is really jon b??? (i stole this but its classic...)

• will i ever go back to facebook?

• what is the j.cole hype about? he's cool, but i've heard much better #dontgetit #sorry

• at what point did females begin this quest to be referred to as some plastic white bitch? (excuse me, didn't mean to step on your toes girl in club...)

• now that my tweets are archived, will i think before i tweet? (prob not)

• why do most black girls hate each other?

• when is it ok to profess your love for someone?

• if my puppy could talk, WTF would he say?

• were brittany murphy and her husband so outrageously doped up in the past that they caused their own deaths?

• will this CND shellac polish really stay chip free for 14 days?

***just some food for thought...chew it up or spit it out...i'm just here to cook it, yo!

PeaceLove

to do list: summer edition

(in no order of importance...shit i would love to accomplish for the summer season!)

• initiate, commit to, and carry out a WORKOUT PLAN (i want my abs back yo)



• healthier dieting (more fruits and veggies)



• blog more often (BLAK_BERRY FILES coming soon! #geeked)



• concoct some dope-a-licious home decor ideas



• cook dinner 1-2 times a week (phase out fast food slowly and completely)



• read some good black fiction (any recommendations???)



• get a new laptop... (its a wrap on the old one, sadly)



• GET ANOTHER TATTOO DAMMIT



• see ERYKAH in concert...and maybe Maxwell again...mmmhmmm



• start a credit union savings account (that is not to be fucked with...)



• start a new poetry journal, get back to writing, hit up some poetry spots ...maybe share some of my pieces???



• do 2-3 photo shoots, including my idea for the NO RESTRICTIONS shoot...(#juicy)



• spend a whole day with my Goddaughter Audi...alone...ahhh...(scary...lol)



• prepare for grad school

***most people create a list of "resolutions" at the beginning of each year. not only do they barely carry out their plans, they don't even remember their plans...#sad. i'm gonna make a "to do list" for each season...let's see how this goes. i'm optimistic tho...

WHAT'S ON YOUR LIST FOR THIS SUMMER HUH?

Fasting...Friends..Favor...

so...a group of my most awesom-est friends and i have decided to fast for 30 days. #goodshit (i really need to "fast cursing" but ah, welp) anyway, we are all fasting different things for different reasons with the common goal of cultivating spiritual growth. not only do i feel that this is bringing myself and others closer to God (or whomever each individual believes in), but it is also bringing us closer to each other. #goodshitagain

we encourage and lift up one another daily...i think this has also allowed us to encourage and lift up others in our day to day lives. i've found myself connecting, conversing, and bonding with more and more people from all kinds of backgrounds and thats a great feeling. for a large portion of my life, i had a very "select" group of friends that i actually would call friends. (i had alot of skepticism, materialism, and emotional walls up against people in general.) but now i feel myself more able to branch out, connect with, and form friendships with many people. that's a good feeling. #ILOVEMYFRIENDS

before...in the midst of...and, i'm sure, after this fast, i've seen (will see) my friends (and myself) being so blessed. (jobs, money, opportunities) i attribute it all to God of course, but i also know that he sends his blessings for reasons. we are favored by Him! we must be doing something right! we gotta keep it up...

#scripture Mark 3:5>>> Jesus said to the man with the shriveled hand, "Stand up in front of everyone. He said to him, "Stretch out your hand!" And he did so; and his hand was restored.

#prayer Lord, allow me to stand up and stretch out my hand...already believing that you will heal, bless, and comfort me...because You are God, and I am Favored...

#formyfriends
Ciara, Aris, Sean, Joe, Jahshae, Marc, Mike, Ash R., Ash B.,Whitney, Jessica, Martha, Kendra, Beth, Fatima (whomever i omitted, charge it to my head and not my heart...lol)

PeaceLoveBlessings

*smart ass!: happy black girl day, pt 2*

HAPPY BLACK GIRL DAY!!! this post is dedicated to all my educated black girls!!! i am proud to say that i have recently been accepted to a master's program which i will be starting in the fall...*heeeyyyyy* yet and still i am even more proud of my sista's Ciara Monae (lol), Aris, and Ash B., who will be graduating from master's programs and my sista's Whit and Yotta, who will be graduating from undergrad (fellow KSTATE future alum) in LESS THAN A MONTH! not to mention my countless sis's (Ash Domonique, Nellz, Zuri, Mook, AJ...to name a few) who are currently in grad programs across the country!!!

we are a few of a few who have had the opportunity, ambition, drive, and perseverance to better ourselves through education...and more education, and have found ourselves and the greatness of our "black girlness" along the way. now, i won't lie, i'm sure we've all also experienced the trials of being a black girl (especially a smart one) but we haven't let that hold or slow us down. Ci and i recently came to the conclusion the other nite that, to be black and a woman, you are taught and expected to be dammm near perfect. well, when i look at my sista's i can say that in the eyes of perfection, i think we look pretty dammm awesome! even more so, because we all have goals and dreams of sprinkling our perfection on the world...especially the black world...especially the black girl world! i just hope more black girls jump on this bandwagon...its one of the best ones to be on and will take you to the greatest places.

so, to all my educated black girls, and those that aspire to be educated, every 2nd wednesday of the month, wake up in the morning, have a revelation or two, then look in the mirror and say: "i am a smart ass, strong ass, fine ass black girl yo"...yep!

peace and love

*happy to be nappy: happy black girl day pt.1*

i just found out that today (and every 2nd wednesday of each month) is officially "HAPPY BLACK GIRL DAY"!!! #geeked. and my first HBGD post is dedicated to all my natural sis's around! (i'm not discriminating...just showing favoritism*sticks tongue out*)

this past saturday, i participated in a natural hair photo shoot. it was orchestrated by my homegirl Zuri J. (brilliant mind, by the way) who told us (and i'll paraphrase, with my own words...lol) she "wanted to see something 'different' and that most hair mags just glorify relaxed hair and weaves. she wanted to see a beautiful collage of black girls in our true essence, NAPPY!"

i totally agreed...and looked around at the girls who were also in the shoot proudly, because of the fact that we all embraced our nappiness, our naturalness. i think loving and embracing EVERYTHING about yourself is the first step to changing the world (yes, the world) ***see previous post about hair and soul connection*** once a girl can fully love herself we can also encourage others to do the same. and i've been looking around, and not that everyone doesn't need it but, black girls DEFINITELY need that self love... but it starts with 1...you...so every 2nd wednesday of the month black girl, wake up in the morning, let your hair down, run your fingers through those naps and say: i am a beautiful, happy black girl...happy to be nappy...happy to be me...

peace and love

stepping stones may break my bones... (transistions, pt. 1)

intro

...sometimes transistion can be kinda rough. wait! transistion can be killer yo! and in the midst of transistion all you can do is prepare for the worst, pray for the best, and hope you make it through to see....something. transistion periods can break or make a person. one can totally lose or begin to find themself. the idea of it is, i feel, unappealing. but the experience of it can be enriching, encouraging, and enlightening...especially if you have goals and can see the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel.

what fascinates me most about my current transistion is how many different aspects of my life it has affected. from love to spirituality, to sexuality, to hair--ality (lol). this "in-between" time has allowed me to begin* to shape my views on life's ways and wonders.
*i use the term begin because, hey, i'm only 23 years old, and i'm sure i will continue to grow, learn, and change with age (tho maybe not drastically).

pt 1: "i am not my hair, it for dammm sure is me tho..."
in the past few years, i've had at least a zillion hair styles. like, forreal... if you know me well, it is not a shock for me to have a totally different hairstyle EVERYTIME you see me! it was an ongoing joke during my undergrad years, but i lived for the element of change. i've been relaxed, NOW ALL NATURAL (YESSSSS!), blonde, black, curly, straight, rinsed red, blue, purple, long, bobbed, short, super short, fro'd :-), twisted, micro'd, sewed in, wigged out, braided back, and almost anything else you can think of.

my hair often reflects my mood. if i have a hat on, i'm tired as hell, or don't give a fuck. if its all done up, i'm feeling good, tryin to be cute (lol), or whatev. but all in all, i changed my hair like i changed my underwear--maybe more! but lately i've rolled with the same few hairstyles as i begin to settle down. see...now that i think about it, i could probably equate my hair with my mental stability. (craaaaazy right?). i mean, i like art, and hair styling is an artistic expression of emotion for me. however, my constant 'do changes were a outward show of an inward soul search. #keepinitreal the ability to look different, seem different, or even be a different person was appealing to me. not because i didn't love myself, but because i was trying to decide which self to love. NO. i am not bi-polar or schitzo (no dis to anyone that may be) but i had begun to realize that i didn't like the person i was and had to figure out how to be a person i could like, love, and live with. i've made gigantice steps in that journey! (fist pump to progression).

i think my decision to go natural (exactly 2 years ago :-D) was my first physical example of finding ME. recently, i've decided to lock my hair. (wowzers!) i haven't done it yet, and i must admit, i am preparing myself for this drastic, permanent decision. but i'm not afraid and quite at peace about the decision. NO. this does not mean i now know everything i am and have figured out all i need to know about my life and this world. HELL NO. but i am ready for a sense of stability. (tho, please believe i'll be styling my locs) but i'm ready to jump into this thing i cannot jim out of with my secret roll dog, my silent ace, my inanimate yet expressive partner in crime...my hair